Have you ever heard of travelers’ guilt? As the eldest daughter, leaving my family and community back in Oregon has been challenging, as I briefly mentioned in my previous blog post, “Pre-Journey to Ghana: Embracing Challenges and Cultivating Connections.” I did anticipate feeling homesick and missing the normality of daily routines, but I had not realized that I would also be experiencing lingering guilt when traveling to places no one in my family has ever been, especially those highly romanticized; I often wish my family could share these experiences.
One thing I constantly struggle with is when people say that I am lucky. Labeling my achievements as luck can sometimes diminish the struggles and hardships that my community and I have faced. While I am fortunate in many ways, I am dedicated, persistent, and hardworking. Reducing these experiences to mere luck may seem right to some, but when someone tells me how lucky I am, it feels like all my efforts—and the efforts of my ancestors who pushed boundaries and faced challenges to get me where I am today—are dismissed. However, it is hard not to feel like I am just lucky and undeserving of these opportunities that my loved ones have never been able to experience. Some may call this imposter syndrome, something I have battled throughout my education.
One of my mentors, Dakota MacColl, who collaborated with me on the “Thanks, But No Thanksgiving” workshops at the University of Oregon in previous years (and is now a medical student at the University of Minnesota Duluth, WHOOP WHOOP!!!) shared an insight about how Indigenous people deal with imposter syndrome that has profoundly impacted my educational journey. MacColl explained that imposter syndrome and the negative self-talk Indigenous people experience are often connected to generations of hatred placed upon our ancestors, which still affects us today. This resonated deeply with me, especially when navigating higher education and feeling like I don’t belong. MacColl’s words remind me that these negative voices are echoes of past oppressions and not the truth about our worth and capabilities.
Knowing this and my family and their values, I know my loved ones wouldn’t want me to feel guilty for these opportunities. Even though I am traveling for internships, it still feels unfair that some people may never get to see and explore the places I am fortunate to experience.
Still, enjoying my travels has been challenging due to constant FOMO (fear of missing out) back home. Taking several months off work to try something I wasn’t even sure I’d enjoy and using my savings for it felt scary. Traveling itself can already be intimidating without compounding guilt. However, recognizing that many people travel regularly helps alleviate any unease about embarking on this journey alone. Considering generational guilt adds to this sense of obligation. Traveling alone, focused solely on learning, is unfamiliar territory for me and can be unsettling. However, there comes a point where pursuing individual experiences opens new opportunities for my community, and it’s okay to embark on these journeys independently.
But how do you deal with these internal challenges?
The first step for me has been to cultivate a deep gratitude for these experiences. I’m immensely thankful for the donations from my family and friends that helped make this dream a reality and the scholarships I received from the School of Journalism and Communications and the University of Oregon. Despite the immense time and dedication that went into planning and securing funds for this journey, I still feel a significant amount of guilt for being able to pursue these opportunities—even though I worked hard to get here. I often think about how hard my family and ancestors worked to make it possible for me to pursue my dreams, and I know these achievements wouldn’t be possible without them. Connecting to that sense of gratitude helps alleviate the guilt.
The second step is to remember that you can share these experiences with your loved ones through phone calls, photos, or blog posts! Sharing your adventures and stories helps connect you to those you care about. Over time, I’ve learned that we are made up of stories that connect us to one another. Sharing experiences and dreams helps others find their way to dream bigger and love harder.
Every day, in addition to striving to learn something new, my goal is to share my experiences to inspire others to believe that their dreams are achievable, too. It may sound cliché, but showing others that things are possible can transform how they view themselves and their aspirations. I have experienced this firsthand by watching others in higher education pursue their goals and advocate for themselves. Hearing people speak casually about experiences like traveling the world can be surprising, but normalizing these activities helps others feel more comfortable pushing boundaries and pursuing their dreams. Although my experiences may not lead one to want to travel the world or anything of the sort, it may help someone see that making that phone call or scheduling that appointment isn’t as scary as it may seem.
Let’s share our thoughts and support each other in overcoming travelers’ guilt and intergenerational guilt! ( Hey Siri, play Matilda by Harry Styles)
luwwi,
Jorney